Why is it that social media is this constant back and forth? I recall 2007 when I created my first social media account on Myspace. Then followed Facebook in 2009 and sure enough, Instagram. By that time of course Myspace wasn’t in the picture anymore. Over the past ten years I was on social media on and off. But why?
At first, it was great to be and stay in touch with family and friends. When I moved to this country in 2006 I left 26 years of life behind. Multiple different circles. It was nice to see what people were up to, happenings of their lives…but it all turned into a competition or for some even a platform to report their entire 12 hour day… it seemed. So what happened was, I started deleting my accounts. I took breaks over a few months, sometimes years, just to create a new account and get back online…and post.
At times I thought, well, I want to share this with my people, then I thought, hmmm, this is something I would like to spread the word about. Next it was me giving my opinion. All this was mixed with insecurities. The questions if somebody would even like or comment on this turned into:
‘Why do I feel the need for people to know about this?’
And this is where I end up every time I have a social media account, then I contemplate, then I delete. I love my life and what it is. Does everybody really need to know about it? Well, we want to keep our people posted on what we have going on in our life…to what extent? Who is people even? The person we accepted just because they have the same dog breed? Or the person we went to school with back in the day? The neighbor from 20 years ago? Maybe if I mention only the things I find vital, topics of necessity to me and treat it as a journal type thing – where are the ‘public journal boundaries(though?), it would not become so out of hand -out of hand in which regard?
Constantly checking it! Wanting to post again! See what others have to say! Is anybody posting better stuff, are they funnier, are they getting more attention? It turns into this race of ego marathon. Over the years I have more and more adapted to not caring what people think of me. It has been a very content and liberating feeling. To break out of the shitty cycle of performing to other peoples liking, was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Frankly it’s been a working progress for about 8 plus years. My selfdisciplin sucks. But I must say, we will not be able to unknow what we know. This is where an overthinkers mind can be a blessing in disguise. And this is where we often ask ourselves “Is this something to share on social media?” – If the self discipline is right. It may be more like “Oh, imma post this on social media. Here.Guilty! This is my trap – a lot of times! Once I have made these unnecessary posts one too many times, I delete. Sometimes the post, or the account. And that, after having it a few years, created some following and community.
Now here I am questioning: Should I get back on social media or not? And why? Okay, there are things I would like to share simply to capture moments in life. Next to that, it is a good way to create a timeline of a journey. On top of this, maybe I CAN spread the word on valuable things. Things I am learning, how I strive to improve myself, the awareness of the fact that my sh!t too, stinks. That it’s ok to be human and it’s ok to screw up, make mistakes and laughing about yourself, learing to apply lessons learned. Last but not least, id like to share insights. Experiences that had an impact on myself, breaking out and being able to pay my dues to mother earth. These dues that are so vital, I have learned partly from my mama and partly through life, but also social media.
If I can learn matters of such magnitude through social media I can also spread them through social media. This is where I end up just before creating a new account. I have so little, but so much to say. Some things, so I’ve been told, need to be written down and released to the people. Alright…now, here is the question: To create, or to not create that 3rd social media account on Instagram??