‘Life in the Fastlane’….,humming The Eagles, as I am observing the mind- boggle in my head.
It goes a little something like this:
There is a yoga instructor online I have been following for several years. I love her practice. Her beginner classes are amazing. The way she explains different postures and what to pay attention to, helped me understand the importance of alignment with breath and movement. Frankly, after 4 – 5 years of on and off wannabe yogi, I still like to do her beginner videos every now and then. She is a great, wonderful being from what i see on social media! Here is the issue I am currently observing: Everything about her, I like. The struggles she went through and how yoga saved her. She was like the girl next door. She even commented on some of my posts before. At that point i am following someone with 150 something followers on social media. Today there are 16000 people following her. Her body is nothing but lean muscle, performing the most craziest poses. She worked so hard for it, I am sure. I worked hard for something else; I tend to forget.
She worked and probably still is working through the struggle. Not saying she is not struggling, who am I to know? What I mean is, she looks like it is all perfect…., Flows in front of the ocean, on the beach, in little gazebos on an island, perfect backbends, and inversions. Me, the not so average, average one on the flipside, I look like a newly born calf on my yoga mat. Still today after some years. She was focusing on her yoga path, I was focusing on my own path. I am where I want to be. Yes, I could be further along with yoga, or homesteading, or writing, if played differently. At that point I didn’t know how to play my cards. That was my battle. Scattered…a little bit of everything, trying to figure it out. What the hell. The struggle was real! I am sure, her struggle was just as hard, or harder, everybody experiences differently. Struggles are different, emotions towards them are different. Definitely no judging here. Anyhow, we see this perfect pose, the incredible flexibility. What we don’t see is, behind the scenes she worked hard for it. Super hard! Well, I worked hard too. Not on my yoga though… therefore I am that calf. And that is by far okay. I worked hard on the path I chose, yoga was on the side. And that too, is okay. We are all different. Different goals. Different upbringing. Different cultures. Different priorities. DIFFERENT! It’s good! Just cant expect to be as good on something we didn’t put the necessarry focus on. That is not fair – to yourself!
Life in the Fastlane. I am realizing how comparing myself to others has the effect of forgetting to live me, mine, this. Here. Now. The other night I couldn’t recall my day. I couldn’t trace events back in order. You know what that means? I was too occupied with other, irrelevant stuff. So irrelevant,I didn’t remember what I was doing for myself,my family. All I recall is me imagining life down the road. I know there is nothing wrong with it. BUT…I compared our, or my state to other homesteads, other yogis, other shop owners. It wasn’t even in a negative way, but that’s what I was busy with. Comparing to something better. It’s like putting yourself on the Fastlane- trying to pass no other than yourself.
I understand people using this comparison as fuel to better themselves. Getting inspiration by and from others is absolutely fantastic. That’s not what i am trying to bring across. Getting motivated by others is a great tool. My husband motivates me constantly to better myself and do better. My view is from the unnecessary self talk we fall into about individual topics. It ties a little into my Mindf@%&ery essay from my last blog post. You can find it here: https://unfoldinglenii.blog/2019/05/20/thinking-the-mindfery/ttps:/
So. I watch myself in the Fastlane, wasting time putting in effort to pass myself- my learning process, my applying experiences and understanding how they shape new outcomes, how much beauty I am missing in the now, because I am trying to be faster than life itself – why? Because of comparison to others and where they are in life.
I am content and happy. Yes, we could be some steps ahead in different aspects -IF-, the magic word…if…If the cards were dealt as we wanted- I think it would be a disaster, cause we wouldn’t learn anything. We needed them just they way we received them, to thrive into our greatest potential. Along the way we collect all this greatness we don’t realize because we try to be ahead of the moment. Judging the self from a non existing angle. Missing to learn who and what we are, versus other humans we would like to portray- it is a trap. A waste of life. Literally.
It has been on my mind…..Don’t try to pass yourself in a life that is only a one way road. And everyone has their own road, their own way- but it’s only one way, one path. No Fastlane!Don’t walk it the wrong way, walk it your way.
And as always,
Be kind! Do good! Take no sh!t – and have a marvelous day!!